29

(Upon zipping my purse up for me and catching his hand in it)
ACH!!! Zipperburn!!
...I really am an old Jew, aren't I?

27

(While walking and holding a bowl of cornbread stuffing):
Mmmm...troughy.

26

It's a freakin' goddamn obstacle course of nature over here!

25

You clearly don't understand button culture!

24

Science is an imperfect science.

23

What the h-e-double-hell are you talking about?

22

Last night I dreamed I was riding a big pepperoni pizza like it was a magic carpet! I was holding on the the crust and zooming along! And to be honest, I was annoyed because the pepperoni was greasy and was making my underpants soggy.

21

I'm in ur salad, eating ur cheesez!

20

It's Garmanbozalicious!

19

Another thought sock lost in the dryer.

18

He's rendering what we're all thinking!

17

Upon viewing a vast field of wild poppies:
"Where do I double click?"

16

Down with the red spectrum!!

15

The setup: I'm walking with David, and I stop to point something out to him. He keeps walking and sort of spaces out, not hearing me. I catch up with him and ask him what's up, and he says, "I was just thinking that we were like parallel processors, and you went off to do a task, and I kept doing my task...and then you returned and...forget it."